Asking for cash gifts for your wedding has to be one of the thorniest issues in the wedding blogosphere.
In terms of touchy decisions, its right up there with whether you should invite your weird second cousin Alfred, who’ll probably spend the whole night hitting on your bridesmaids.
The reality is that most couples nowadays have lived together for a while prior to the wedding and have already accrued all the detritus that traditional wedding gifting was meant to provide – such as a toaster, bedding and your first ugly knick-knack.
If you’re striving to reduce the household clutter, planning a big move after the wedding, or just have a general dislike for department stores, then receiving boxes and boxes of gifts likely has no appeal.
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Below are suggestions on how to ask for cash gifts for your wedding:
Some Guests Prefer Giving Money at Weddings.
As a single girl who’s attended a lot of friends’ weddings, I’m all in favour of the cash gift. I mean, I dislike shopping and I’m an aspiring minimalist, so buying potentially unwanted gifts doesn’t appeal. I’d much prefer to give cash as it’s easier to stick to my budget and I know it’ll be used and wanted.
However, I still think there is a right way to tell your wedding guests that you prefer cash for your wedding gift. So this is my totally frank and probably biased view of how to ask for cash gifts for your wedding.
Don’t Make Them Hate You for Asking For Cash at Your Wedding.
First Actually this is probably more like Point 0, do not expect grand gifts for your wedding. I know we’ve all been trained to understand that attending a wedding means bringing a gift, but it is very wrong to expect that every guest will contribute enough cash or gifts to cover the cost of your wedding.
Your guests may have a strict budget or be paying down debt, and they likely have spent hundreds of dollars just to be there with you to celebrate on your day.
So if a present doesn’t factor into their spending, just be cool with it and thank them for being there. It’s not like you invited them just to get a gift, right?
Don’t Bring Up Gifts Straight Away For Your Wedding Gift.
Remember that it isn’t polite to mention gifts at all on the invite. I know some people like to include a little slip of paper mentioning where the couple are registered or that they only want flat gifts – whatever that’s supposed to mean.
But it is more polite to totally separate the issue of gifts from your guests’ attendance at the wedding (see my point above).
Traditionally, it is the job of the Mother-of-the-Bride to direct guests to the registry. However, in the digital age, I suggest you refer your guests to a website or blog set up specifically for your wedding. This site could include all the details about the venue, directions to get there, suggested accommodation and, yes, what gifts you would prefer.
Do Not Get Cutesy with Poetry When Asking For a Monetary Wedding Gift.
Next, please do not insult my intelligence (or the great bards of the past) by requesting a cash gift through the medium of a poem. Seriously, I’ve never read one that I’ve liked. Would you ask for a pay rise from your boss using Haiku? Would you request a discount on your credit card rate using iambic pentameter? No, so don’t get all cutesy with poetry to request a cash gift.
The best way to let your guests know you’d prefer cash is to tell them specifically what you are saving up for – as long as it’s something awesome.
They’re much more likely to cough up the dough if it’s going towards a once in a lifetime trip, than for a $5,000 couch for your living room. Oh and please do not ever say it’s to offset the cost of the wedding. Just. No.
Make It Easy to Give Wedding Cash.
You also should make sure that it is easy for guests to gift money anonymously if desired. You could set up an online account to accept cash gifts -travel agents often offer these if the cash is to be used to fund a honeymoon, or you can use one of the companies that specialise in these. Or just have a ‘wishing well’ set up discreetly at the venue where gets can place envelopes into a secure box.
Finally, remember that weddings are a celebration of your union – not a cash grab or a ticketed event. Even if you have requested cash only, some guests will choose to give you an actual present anyway. Be gracious of any gifts received, even if Aunt Liesl decides to give you a set of African fertility dolls and a copy of the Karma Sutra.
What do you think about couples who ask for cash for their wedding? Do you prefer to give cash?